it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
