what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
