dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
