Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
