you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
