i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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