Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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