You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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