problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
did i walk over a car last night?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
