Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
