you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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