you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
