Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
