Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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