I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i permit you to call me
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
