can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
