Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He kissed a someone with a penis
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
