My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize