Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
