i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
