It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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