Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize