The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
