one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's never too late to be topless.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize