I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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