Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
