Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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