Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
