i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
