no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize