We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Is it penis luge time yet?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bring me that man meat
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
