you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Fuck appropriateness.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
