so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
