yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
