How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
