it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it's like iHOP with fire
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Found your dick twin last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
