scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
