just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
