wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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