Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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