I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm getting married
To pizza
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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