it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Less talking, more tequila
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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