Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
