I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
