I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
