My brain says no but my pants say off.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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