So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
