her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
