You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
