I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
do herpes really smell.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
