I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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