I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
