It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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