I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
