I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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