Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
