Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
