4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
