Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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