i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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