his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
